Men’s Fitness – 20 Signs She’s Not Worth Your Time
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Knowing if your relationship is the right fit for you can be tough, and no relationship or person is perfect. However, there are indicators to watch for and anxieties to listen to.
I was very pleased to help out with this piece by Sarah Jacobsson Purewal for Men’s Fitness on signs she’s not worth your time.
11. She doesn’t have your back: Your partner should build you up—not tear you down. You’re not being ‘too sensitive,’ says clinical psychologist Alicia H. Clark. Contempt is the number one indicator of divorce in couples, Clark explains. If she makes fun of you constantly and is dismissive of your feelings, you don’t have her respect.
12. She doesn’t want to hang out with your friends: If you’re like most couples, she’s probably the one who manages your social calendar—and you’re probably fine with this. But you shouldn’t be giving up time with your friends for time with hers (or vice-versa). She might not love your buddies, but if she refuses to hang out with them or let you hang out with them, you’re the one who will suffer, Clark says.
13. She doesn’t trust you: Some jealousy is understandable—but that doesn’t make it cute. “Unless you’ve given her a reason to be worried, this is a very bad sign,” Clark says. Think about it: If you’re the perfect (relatively speaking) boyfriend and she’s already snooping through your phone…it’s not going to get better, it’s going to get worse.
14. She has no girlfriends: She seems like an awesome girl: She loves football, beer, and video games. And she has a ton of guy friends—which is totally fine—but no girlfriends, because she “just doesn’t get along with girls,” or “girls think she’s a threat.” Give me a break. Who doesn’t get along with an entire gender? “A worthy partner has friends of both genders because she’s a good friend,” Clark says. “And, obviously, her ability to be a friend is a good indicator of her ability to be a partner.”
15. She’s a gold-digger: She doesn’t have to be after your money to be a ‘gold-digger,’ or someone who wants to take advantage of you, Clark says. “If you feel like there is some unspoken quota of gestures or behaviors you must meet to win her affection, she’s not really interested in you,” Clark explains. A relationship is a partnership, and nobody should be keeping score.
16. She’s not a nice person: Sure, she’s nice to you, but she’s not very friendly to anyone else—her friends, your friends, or people in the service industry. “If she’s not nice to others, then someday she’ll treat you the same way,” Clark warns. It’s only a matter of time.
18. She’s obsessed with being the ‘perfect’ couple: Sharing some relationship milestones and happy moments with your social network is expected—and can even indicate a comfortable relationship—but if she’s more interested in looking perfect on Instagram than hanging out with you in real life, you have a problem. “Your partner should know you love them from how they feel when they’re with you—not what they see on Facebook,” Clark says.
19. She never apologizes or takes responsibility: You can say you’re sorry without admitting fault, but you’ve never heard her utter an apology. “This is a very subtle warning sign, but it’s still a warning sign,” Clark points out. “Relationships are built on mutual responsibility-taking, and nowhere is this more important than in navigating conflict.” If she can’t admit she’s not always right, she’s probably not mature enough to be in a relationship.
20. You’re walking on eggshells: As your relationship matures, you should feel more secure with your partner—not less secure. So if you’re feeling insecure around her—because she points out your physical or behavioral flaws and bad habits—that’s a sign your relationship is rapidly going downhill. The silver lining, according to Clark, is that this probably has more to do with her than it does with you.