In this
post, Sarah Jacobsson Purewal artfully takes on how to avoid being banished to relationship purgatory. Here are a few insights I offered:
“A serial friend-zoner is someone who likes the attention of a suitor without the responsibility of an actual relationship, says psychologist Alicia Clark, PsyD. “She’ll give you just enough reinforcement so you’ll continue to be available and supportive of her, but at the same time she’ll masterfully avoid sending you any indications that she’s romantically interested in you,” Clark says. “She is interested in you, and she wants you to stick around, she’s just not interested in dating you. A real friend would not do this.”
“Being rejected from the friend zone can actually be harder than getting shut down straight away, Clark says. Because you already have a relationship with her (a sham friendship is still a relationship, sort of), you have more to lose than if you were asking out a stranger. “Men who allow themselves to fantasize about a future relationship with a girl make it harder for themselves to declare their intentions and risk losing her,” Clark says. “By avoiding making their intentions clear, they can keep the hope alive that someday all of their attention will be reciprocated.” In other words, you’re in relationship purgatory, and that’s never a good look.”