Your Partner Is Constantly Having To Reassure You
There’s nothing wrong with craving some reassurance from your partner every now and then, but if you constantly need them to validate you, that’s a sign that your insecurities are getting the better of you — and if they grow tired of reassuring you, that can cause you to become even more insecure.
“Your partner’s drifting patience [with reassuring you] can mean you are leaning too heavily on them and not doing enough for yourself,” Alicia H Clark, PsyD, PLLC, licensed clinical psychologist, tells Bustle. “When your partner loses patience with your need for reassurance, this could be the mark of a critical, unaccepting partner who is actually contributing to your insecurity.”
You Rely On Your Partner To Make You Feel Like You’re Enough
Self-acceptance isn’t something you can summon overnight, but if you rely solely on your partner to make you feel like you’re ‘enough’ — attractive enough, fun enough, smart enough, kind enough — you’ll never be fully happy, both with yourself and in your relationship.
“You name it, an insecure person will wonder if they are ever ‘enough’ [of any given quality],” Clark says. “I call this the ‘tyranny of enoughs’. You don’t feel adequate enough, and you look to your partner to redefine this for you, when all along you are looking for something that comes from within: radical self-acceptance.”