Bustle – The Kind Of “Baggage” That’s OK To Bring Into A Relationship, According To Experts

When it comes to relationship “baggage,” we’ve somehow gotten the idea that having it is the problem. And so, in embarking on clean relationship slates, we are often surprised when old patterns show up, and we are left wondering how to leave our “baggage” out of the present.

Bustle asked me what kinds of “baggage” were OK to bring into a relationship, and what wasn’t, and I was pleased to weigh in for this great expert round-up. We all agreed that it isn’t so much about having baggage as it is about what you do with it that matters.

To read the full post, click HERE.


Alicia H. Clark, Psy. D. agrees, and tells Bustle how what we consider “baggage” is often the foundation of a healthy relationship, “Strong relationships are built around deeply knowing and accepting a partner, and understanding your and your partner’s baggage is always part of this process. Knowing your baggage is central to growing forward and maintaining a strong bond with your partner.”


Here’s what you should know about “baggage” that’s OK to bring into a relationship:


1. Everybody Has Baggage — What Matters Is How You Deal With It


If you are a human being, then you have baggage. If you desire to have a romantic partnership, you are going to date another human being with baggage. It is inevitable and it is a part of life. The only thing that really matters, in terms of your relationship, is how you DEAL with this “baggage.” And the way that you handle your past struggles is the only difference between “good” and “bad” baggage.

Alicia H. Clark, PsyD