Huffington Post – 6 Arguments Couples Always Have Right Before Their Wedding
Engagements and wedding planning can be stressful, and many couples struggle with arguments before the wedding. Even though arguing can be quite common, and even predictable, it can still be a major stressor for couples facing one of the biggest decisions and life changes of their life: getting married. Knowing what’s common and what isn’t can make it easier for couples to tell when to really worry you might be making a mistake.
Huffington Post asked me to what arguments were most common for couples before their wedding, and I was very pleased to weigh in on two of the most common conflict areas I see: money and division of labor.
To read the full article, click HERE.
This wedding is costing an arm and a leg — and we’re already on unsure financial footing.
Weddings are ungodly expensive, which is why flare-ups about finances often occur during the planning process. One minute you’re bickering about the price tag on catering packages, and the next you’re hounding each other about when you’ll each pay off your student debt.
If issues do crop up, lean into the moment and talk about how you feel about your shared financial future, said Alicia H. Clark, a psychologist in Washington, D.C.
“The sooner you identify and discuss your values, the sooner you can see where there are differences,” she said. “No one values all the same things. The key is to protect those financial values you care about most and smooth as many differences as possible. Understanding your collective values, and translating it into a financial plan, can help you build a life and future you can trust.”
She’s not helping enough with our wedding plans or around the house.
You can’t work on the seating arrangements, take last-minute calls with the caterer and do all the work and chores around the house. If the load is getting too heavy, it’s essential to call a time-out and discuss divisions of labor, Clark said.
“Divide things up based on what you are each good at and don’t mind doing. And for the chores you both hate, divide them evenly,” she said. “You are laying down habits for your life together; taking time to get it right is time well spent.”