7 Ways To Affair Proof Your Relationship – Huffington Post


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Infidelity is one of the most hurtful things that can occur in a relationship, and many committed couples understandably worry about what they can do to protect their union against such a painful situation.
I was asked by Huffington Post to weigh in on strategies couples can use to protect their relationships from infidelity. I was pleased to offer a few thoughts on ways to keep your partnership and fidelity rock solid, and avoid common pitfalls that can make your relationship vulnerable to an affair: 7 Ways To Affair Proof Your Relationship by Brittany Wong.

2. Recognize and tend to the needs of your relationship. 

People who cheat often talk about how their affair partners simply fulfilled a need their spouse couldn’t, be it physical or emotional. To sidestep the same fate, clinical psychologist Alicia H. Clark said you need to fiercely guard the connection that initially brought you two together. At the same time, check in occasionally to make sure everything is still A-OK on your partner’s end.

“Keep tabs on how connected you feel and how successfully you are meeting each other’s needs,” she said. “Faithful couples understand the importance of physical and emotional connection and make sure to tend to these needs. This requires forging compromises that are mutually satisfying and sustainable.”

5. Make time for sex. 

It’s natural for your sex drive to wax and wane in a long-term relationship. But if you can’t recall the last time the two of you got busy, you may want to address the issue, said Clark.

“Without sounding cliché, the importance of sexual intimacy — and touch, in particular — to protecting a relationship from infidelity cannot be overstated,” she said. “The truth is, touching and sexual activity drive up chemical reactions in our brain that promote feelings of connection, attachment and desire.”

Keep in mind that sex alone isn’t always enough. “Sex has to be emotionally intimate and physically satisfying in order to promote the kinds of feelings of closeness and connection that are fidelity protective,” she said.

7. Actively show how much your partner means to you.

The love you feel for your partner may be more than you ever imagined possible, but don’t assume he or she knows that. Your partner wants to feel wanted; make a point to prove your feelings, said Clark.

“If you want to satisfy your partner’s needs, show him or her the attention, affection and appreciation they need in order to feel valued,” she said. “Look for ways to say ‘thank you’ and cultivate gratitude. This can help maintain a healthy mindset that promotes happiness and satisfaction, further protecting your relationship from the inevitable pitfalls of frustration and disappointment that can lead to infidelity.”

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Alicia H. Clark, PsyD