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Huffington Post – If You’re Sleeping With A Married Person, Here’s How To End It

Knowing when to end an affair isn’t straightforward. It might not be easy to sustain a relationship with a married person, but it also isn’t easy to end it. The highs and lows start to define your relationship, and as frustrating as they can be, they aren’t always enough to convince you it’s time to end things. Ending an affair isn’t easy, and worse, you might not know how to.

Huffington Post asked me to weigh in on strategies to end an affair, and I was pleased to help out on how to mentally prepare. To read the full post, CLICK HERE.

1. Pay attention to your affair partner’s actions, not their words.

When your partner tells you they intend to leave their marriage, you want to believe them; it’s easy to fall for false promises or half truths when you’re deeply invested in a relationship, said Alicia HClark, a psychologist in Washington, D.C. It’s a lot harder to recognize that your partner likely hasn’t made any real attempts to break free from their primary relationship, she said.

“An affair derives romance and passion from ‘what-could-be’ but that’s generally not sustainable,” Clark told HuffPost. “Avoiding reality only hurts you and the future you deserve with someone who can fully love you. Facing reality and your understandable disappointment is the first step in making yourself available for true love.”

3. Remind yourself that you’re worthy of someone’s full attention.

Your may savor the time you do spend together ― but ultimately, you’re selling yourself short if you don’t have their full attention, Clark said. There’s even a possibility that carrying on the affair in secret has taken a toll on your self-esteem, leading you to believe you’re not worthy of love or a trusting relationship.

“Remember, just because you’ve become accustomed to waiting your turn, thinking about your partner’s needs first or keeping shameful secrets doesn’t mean this is who you are,” she said. “You deserve to be in a mutual relationship, where you can get your needs met without shame.

 

Alicia H. Clark, PsyD

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