202-969-2277

alicia@aliciaclarkpsyd.com

Cited in Men’s Health – 5 Nice Things Guys Do that Girls Actually Hate

image5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate:

These winning moves can actually push her away

In this great post, SARAH JACOBSSON PUREWAL addresses a few well-meaning, nice things men typically do that can strike the wrong chord with their mates, and actually turn a woman off.  Here are a few thoughts I shared about things nice guys do wrong:

It’s not quite as tricky as it sounds, says psychologist Alicia Clark, PsyD. “The problem mainly happens when a gesture isn’t fully considered in terms of how a partner will feel,” Clark says. “Thinking of how she’ll feel about something is always a safe move to make sure your thoughtful gestures are received in the way you intended.”

Lavishing her with gifts …According to Clark, too much masculine care-taking behavior (i.e. buying her things) feels controlling, especially if she’s gainfully employed and financially capable of taking care of herself. Also, even if your intentions are pure, she feels pressure to reciprocate—and no woman wants to be in a relationship where she constantly feels one step behind.

Jumping in the shower without an invitation …”Physical space is an important component in relationships,” Clark says. “Entering another’s space uninvited—even if you’re trying to be affectionate—can fall flat.”

Checking in on her
You know the drill: Drop her off, but wait until she’s inside before driving off. That’s fine—no woman is going to fault you for seeing her safely home. But when you start asking her where she is, or when she’s coming back, even if it’s just because you care about her and are excited to see her, she’ll start getting irritated.

“This is almost always meant to convey interest, caring, and affection,” says Clark. “But it can read to her as controlling and jealous. Too much attention can feel invasive.” Bottom line: Unless she asks you to, or you need her immediate expertise on how to put out a kitchen fire (or something), try not to check in on her.

To read the full post, http://bit.ly/1iVT3FO

Posted in ,

Alicia H. Clark, PsyD

Leave a Comment